Restaurant Jokes

Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive

What is Juice WRLD's favorite restaurant?

Little Seizures

What Is China's favorite restaurant

The Pet Store

a man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili the waiter said "sorry sir this is a Asian restaurant". So he stretches his eyes and says "oh herro can i get some chiri".

A blind man went to a restaurant.

menu sir? asked the owner. I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order. The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork, and returned to the blind man. The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables. Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!

Why did the chicken go to the restaurant? To eat chicken!

* sans at sans favorite restaurant* Sans: hey frisk what do you eat today?

Frisk: one knife plz

sans: ok one knife plz

Waiter: you eat a knife?

Frisk: yes

* waiter asking for one knife*

Waiter: here you go

Frisk: thanks you

if your waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?

Why can the orphan only go to restaurants?

Because they can't have homemade meals.

Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong- king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said “ I am Chong king. I said I know your name is Chong king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.

Anyone know what happened?

bobs family restaurant:

orphans:

jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool then jack came in and asked jill if she wanted to ride in his new car she said i have to think then jack said at least let me by you a drink after 5 drinks he asked again this time she said yes so they got in the car and jack and jill roed up a hill to to jacks home then jack said (close your eiys i got a supries )so jack lead jill to his room then said open your ies so jill opend her iese then jack got them some red wine jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and jack said i know you wana she said no way so jack gave her one more drink then she passed out then jack ripped all his close off then he did the same to jill then he did it till 3am

A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans. When she gets home his husband puts a blindfold on hair and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes of the blind fold the lady sees 12 people with pegs on there nose singing happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

have you ate at the restaurant at the Moon its got good food but no atmosphere.

why should you never give else a balloon? cause she will let it go

Yo mama so stupid she thinks Bear Grylls is a restaurant.

A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back... The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.

Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.

A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.

After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”

“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”

I wanted to bomb a restaurant so i went in there with a bomb...but the bomb got diffused and did not work . I asked a person standing nearby i said. "" hey do you know how to fix this bomb so i can blow up this place? "" He gave me a book. It was the quran I said what the hell is that..! He said, " this is the official manual for bomb making."