Restaurant jokes

Why is a waiter good at math?

Because he knows his TABLES! 🤣

Wanna hear a pizza joke?

Ah, never mind, it's too cheesy.

Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.

I'm hungry.

I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"

I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.

Little boy: Momma?

Mom: Yes, my dear.

Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.

Mom: Why!?

Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.

Spell "Ihop," and then say, "'Ness, I ate your peanuts!"

How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?

By squeezing his way in.

A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.

Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."

What do you call a living Panera Bread?

Panera Breath.

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.

What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?

The Home Depot.

Waiter: Can I have your order?

Me: No, it’s mine!

Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.

He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."

"Hey Modda, I'm hungry."

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

Wanna hear a joke about pizza?

Never mind, it’s too cheesy! 😅

I had to give up my vegetarian diet.

Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.

Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?

A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.

Ayo, the pizza here... OH NlGGA! AHHHHH!... Augh, my ears burn!