Restaurant jokes
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
I'm hungry.
Waiter: Can I have your order?
Me: No, it’s mine!
What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?
The Home Depot.
Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
Why is a waiter good at math?
Because he knows his TABLES! 🤣
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Ah, never mind, it's too cheesy.
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
Ayo, the pizza here... OH NlGGA! AHHHHH!... Augh, my ears burn!
Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.
Wanna hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy! 😅
"Hey Modda, I'm hungry."
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"