Restaurant Jokes

There is a man and a women on a date.

The women asked what kind of things do you love.

The table starts to lift up on the mans side and the man says sorry.

I ask my sister why does the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time. My siister said to me I love him long time.

jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool then jack came in and asked jill if she wanted to ride in his new car she said i have to think then jack said at least let me by you a drink after 5 drinks he asked again this time she said yes so they got in the car and jack and jill roed up a hill to to jacks home then jack said (close your eiys i got a supries )so jack lead jill to his room then said open your ies so jill opend her iese then jack got them some red wine jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and jack said i know you wana she said no way so jack gave her one more drink then she passed out then jack ripped all his close off then he did the same to jill then he did it till 3am

Where do orphans go to get a happy meal?

Orph-Donalds

Pastor: I don’t normally swear but tonight I am going to just for the Halibut!

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?

Don't worry nether have they.

Why can the orphan only go to restaurants?

Because they can't have homemade meals.

Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day. Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first. Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am. Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet. Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you. Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you. Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down. Most restaurants are closed at night.. but your legs aren’t. I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out. Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight. Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall. I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately... but I hope it’s you. Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream. Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you. Do you sing in the shower? Because if so I need a private ticket of your concert. Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between. Are you a blanket? Because your on top of me every night. Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7. Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream. I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not. Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down. Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up. Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.

if someone calls you just say this is peters abortion clinic and pizza restaurant were yesterdays loss is today's sauce

Have you heard of the restaurant karma There is no menu because you only get what you deserve

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What restaurant does Africa own? M.T Bellies

What Is China's favorite restaurant

The Pet Store

Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive

Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware

#SpursAreIn9thLOL

A couple enters a Chinese restaurant. Took their seats. The waiter asked ‘Xiang Chi Shen Ma’ and the wife said ‘Chi Ji Ba’

Who come when a orphan gets married, they are allowed back in family restaurants but when i go in alone I'm not allowed. I have some parents for god's sake