Restaurant jokes

Do you like Wendy’s?

Yeah, Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth!

What's long and black, the line to KFC.

What did one plate say to the other plate?

"Dinner's on me."

Where did the one legged lady work?

IHOP

When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,

just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!

This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.

His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.

The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.

How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?

By squeezing his way in.

Little boy: Momma?

Mom: Yes, my dear.

Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.

Mom: Why!?

Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.

I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"

I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.

Spell "Ihop," and then say, "'Ness, I ate your peanuts!"

What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?

Curry in a hurry.

What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?

The Home Depot.

I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.

Waiter: Can I have your order?

Me: No, it’s mine!

Why is a waiter good at math?

Because he knows his TABLES! 🤣

A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.

Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."

Wanna hear a pizza joke?

Ah, never mind, it's too cheesy.

Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.

I'm hungry.