Restaurant jokes

What’s black and long?

The Chick-fil-A line.

Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.

I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.

Why are the people that get your order at restaurants called waiters? They don't wait for the food; we wait for the food. They should be called "note takers." They take notes for food.

If someone calls you, just say:

"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.

If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.

Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"

There is a man and a woman on a date.

The woman asked what kind of things do you love?

The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.

Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell. That’s why she calls you a little shat.

What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."

Why are french fries rude?

This is the real reason why the chicken crossed the road.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To visit his grandmother at KFC.

Your hairline goes so far back that Crown Burger was Crown Sandwiches.

Yo mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.

Want to hear a pizza joke?

Never mind, it’s too cheesy.

Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.

I made that one up.

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?

Bone-appetit!

I just got a taste of Kingston, Ontario's only transgender restaurant: 664 Bath. A Dairy Queen who used to be a Burger King.

Little boy: Momma?

Mom: Yes, my dear.

Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.

Mom: Why!?

Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.