Restaurant jokes
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?
Allah's snackbar!
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Memes
So true
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
What did Ronnie have at Taco Bell?
A mind-blowing bean burrito.
What's long and black, the line to KFC.
Do you like Wendy’s?
Yeah, Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth!
Where did the one legged lady work?
IHOP
What did one plate say to the other plate?
"Dinner's on me."
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.
His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.
The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in.
Spell "Ihop," and then say, "'Ness, I ate your peanuts!"
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.
Waiter: Can I have your order?
Me: No, it’s mine!
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.