Restaurant jokes

Little boy: Momma?

Mom: Yes, my dear.

Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.

Mom: Why!?

Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.

I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"

I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.

Spell "Ihop," and then say, "'Ness, I ate your peanuts!"

What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?

Curry in a hurry.

What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?

The Home Depot.

I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.

Waiter: Can I have your order?

Me: No, it’s mine!

Why is a waiter good at math?

Because he knows his TABLES! 🤣

A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.

Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."

Wanna hear a pizza joke?

Ah, never mind, it's too cheesy.

Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.

I'm hungry.

What do you call a living Panera Bread?

Panera Breath.

What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.

Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.

He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."

Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?

A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.

Ayo, the pizza here... OH NlGGA! AHHHHH!... Augh, my ears burn!

"Hey Modda, I'm hungry."

Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.