Restaurant jokes
Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday.
I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive.
A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!
B: Thank you.
A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!
Mom: Hey, there's IHOP.
Kid: You hop to.
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?
In-N-Out of kids.
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
"Pizza place, pizza place, are you there?"
"You're ass heck bye."
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
Where do the Borg eat fast food?
Borger King.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
What's the darkest point in the universe?
The inside of a KFC.
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:
Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
I like my women like I like my steak...
Bloody.
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.