Restaurant jokes
Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Why did the orphan not get service at the restaurant?
Because it was a family restaurant!
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday.
I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive.
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo!
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
What was the last pizza order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
What did one plate say to the other plate?
"Dinner's on me."
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
Taco Bell going out of business.
Her: Eat my ass!
Me: Yes, chef!
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
Stinking poo poo bum.
Joke of the day: Your mum is so fat I saw her at Greg’s! 😭🤣
What do Arby's and black women have in common? They both have the meats.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.