Reproduction jokes
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.
I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.
The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.
Why do they call it abortion? Because they aborted the mission.
What is black and white and red all over?
An interracial abortion.
Wanted: Sperm donors. Please come quickly!
Children in the dark make mistakes.
Mistakes in the dark make children.
What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?
Nothing, they both stain.
Why didn't the wife want sex?
Because they were having too many babies.
Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?
A: See you on the flip side.
What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?
Her miscarriage.
Jack and Rose went on a cruise to do it in the water.
Jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.
Where can a male and female rabbit make love at? The rabbit house or the rabbit hole?
Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.