Reproduction jokes
Sex is like math.
You add a bed.
Subtract the clothes.
Divide the legs.
And pray you don’t multiply.
What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?
Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger!
Jokers are all about the delivery.
Except abortion jokes...
Why are vaginas and the Mariana Trench similar? Lots of seamen go missing there.
I thought it would be fun to become a shooter. It became less fun when I realized that "shooting a woman up" also included a condom.
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.
I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.
The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.
Why do they call it abortion? Because they aborted the mission.
What is black and white and red all over?
An interracial abortion.
Wanted: Sperm donors. Please come quickly!
Children in the dark make mistakes.
Mistakes in the dark make children.
What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?
Nothing, they both stain.