Reproduction jokes
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
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Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.
Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.
What do you call a too round egg?
A prEGGnant egg.
How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.
What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
What is the difference between an egg and you? An egg gets laid, and you don't.
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
What do sperm say while just in?
"We need to go deeper."
As a little boy, I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.
The next day my dad tells me, "Don't worry son, I wasn't hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister."
So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked, "Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy."
If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?
An orange tree! :>
GF: Laying down.
BF: GROANING
GF: Are you good at aiming and shooting?
BF: Yeah, why?
GF: Shoot that did in there.
BF: Mmmhuugh
I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.
Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?
What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?
Her miscarriage.