Reproduction jokes

Why didn't the wife want sex?

Because they were having too many babies.

Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?

A: See you on the flip side.

What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?

Her miscarriage.

Jack and Rose went on a cruise to do it in the water.

Jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.

Where can a male and female rabbit make love at? The rabbit house or the rabbit hole?

Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.

Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?

A: Eggs.

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”

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Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!

Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.

Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"

What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?

"Kinder Egg surprise."

The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"

I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.

What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?

The nun gets pregNUNt.

What do you call a too round egg?

A prEGGnant egg.

How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.

What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

What is the difference between an egg and you? An egg gets laid, and you don't.

What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!