Reproduction jokes
I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.
Sex is like math.
Subtract the clothes, add the bed, divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
How do you know if a black lady’s pregnant?
You put a banana up her vagina and see if any little monkeys come and get it.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.
Why don’t babies pollinate flowers?
God chose Plan B.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna," but dumb-ass Jill forgot her pills, and now they have 12 kids.
I can't cum anymore. I can't put children through this.
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?
They're both fat.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, Had some fun. She forgot her pill, And now we have Jonny!
Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!
The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!
What bees make milk?
Boob bees.
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
What's black, white, and red all over? The interracial abortion.
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because he put the wrong sock was put on.
Hehe.
My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?
Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.
Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.
And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...
What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.