Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!
The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!
Reproduction Jokes
What bees make milk?
Boob bees.
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
What's black, white, and red all over? The interracial abortion.
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because he put the wrong sock was put on.
Hehe.
My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?
Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.
Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.
And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...
What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
Sex is like math.
You add a bed.
Subtract the clothes.
Divide the legs.
And pray you don’t multiply.
What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?
Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger!
Jokers are all about the delivery.
Except abortion jokes...
Why are vaginas and the Mariana Trench similar? Lots of seamen go missing there.
I thought it would be fun to become a shooter. It became less fun when I realized that "shooting a woman up" also included a condom.
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.
