Religion jokes

Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."

I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.

Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?

Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.

I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.

What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.

What's a reversed exorcism?

It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.

Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?

On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!

My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So they had someone to call Father.

God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"

A little riddle...

Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?

...

Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?

A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."

Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!

Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.

Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."

Why did the orphan go to church?

So he had someone to call Father.

What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?

A holy cow!

"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.

Why do orphans pray to God?

So they have someone to call father.

[God creating a jellyfish]

God: How about an evil bag?