Religion jokes
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
Ctrl, Alt, Deletus, because of thine fetus.
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
What's a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
Why do orphans pray to God?
So they have someone to call father.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call Father.
Yo mama so old, she was a waitress at the last supper.
What's your religion?
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.
Me yelling every gay slur to get suspended.
I’m in catholic school.
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?
God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?
How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.