Religion jokes

You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.

We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Heaven.

Heaven who?

Heaven fun over there?

Did you hear about the gay choirboy?

He choked on his first hymn.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So he had someone to call Father.

Why is Jesus in pieces?

Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.

I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.

My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.

Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?

Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.

I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.

How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.

Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."

What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.

Ctrl, Alt, Deletus, because of thine fetus.

Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!

I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.

Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.

Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."

I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So they had someone to call Father.

God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"