Religion jokes
Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!
I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."
I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.
Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?
Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.
Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
Why did the orphan go to church?
So they had someone to call Father.
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call Father.
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
Ctrl, Alt, Deletus, because of thine fetus.
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
What's a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
Why do orphans pray to God?
So they have someone to call father.