Religion jokes

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Why did the orphan go to church?

It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."

When the priest said, "Be gone from this boy, demon!" the demon replied, "And you get out of the boy!"

How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.

I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?

Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?

He didn't give me any.

I was made by the Devil.

What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?

God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.

What is an Italian massage?

An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.

Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?

Because she was straight into Jesus.

Yo mama so old, she was a waitress at the last supper.

Why doesn't Jesus participate in Battle Raps?

All his comebacks take three days.

How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?

Tell him that it is a confessional booth.

How is a priest like a wristwatch?

They both start at 12.

Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.

What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile.

Me yelling every gay slur to get suspended.

I’m in catholic school.

A child, molester, and priest walk into a bar.

He orders a drink.

I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.

There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.

The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.