Religion jokes

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

What's your religion?

You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.

Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!

What would you throw between a priest and a nun? A bottle of whiskey.

Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?

Because she was straight into Jesus.

I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?

Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?

He didn't give me any.

I was made by the Devil.

What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?

God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So he had someone to call Father.

I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.

I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.

Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."

Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!

Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.

What is an Italian massage?

An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.

A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."

Why is Jesus in pieces?

Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.

I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.

Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?

Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.

How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.