Religion jokes
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.
What is Jesus's favorite exercise? Cross fit.
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
Stephen Hawking said there is no god.
God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?
Why did the orphan go to church?
So that they had someone to call father.
What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
God created everyone unique till he got to Asia, then it just went to copy paste, copy paste.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
Did you hear about that Muslim party?
It was a blast!
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.