Religion jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t climb up the stairs to heaven.
Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.
Obv, unless you share your residence.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.
"Spray and pray," also known as a priest with an altar boy.
How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?
Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.
I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
Why do nuns not wear bras?
God supports everything.
Priests are called father because it would be suspicious to call him daddy.
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."