Religion

Religion jokes

Pastor

    • The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.

    He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.

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    • Nun

    • Three nuns die in a car crash, but they all make it to heaven. They're standing at the pearly gates, and Saint Peter says to them, "Don't worry, you're going to get in, but first I need you to answer these questions."

    He asks the first nun, "What was the name of the first woman?" The nun says, "Eve." Saint Peter says, "Go on in."

    Then he asks the second nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?" The second one says, "The Garden of Eden." Saint Peter says, "You can go through."

    Finally, he gets to the third nun and says, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun stands there a little confused and says, "Boy, that's a hard one." Saint Peter, shocked, goes, "That's correct! Go on in."

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    • Demon

    • Why are Demons dying from Priestwater? The soul from a Priest is completely different.

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    • Religion memes

    Jesus

    • What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

    You can hang the picture with one nail.

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    • Toaster

    • And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."

    But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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    • Priest

    • Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.

    The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.

    "We're searching for two child molesters," he says.

    The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.

    Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."

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    • Jesus

    • Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,

    "Peter, Peter come to me!"

    So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.

    "Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,

    "Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.

    "Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"

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    • Nun

    • A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.

    The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"

    The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."

    The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"

    The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."

    At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."

    The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."

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    • Priest

    • Why did the Italian American Roman Catholic priest perform fellatio on gay men at the glory hole inside the adult bookstore?

    Someone asked him what would he do for a Klondike Bar?

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    • God

    • Hello, this is Godlygirl26. I want to help people with their problems no matter what. There is nothing that God cannot do. I want y'all to know that God is with you, not any of those stone or wood "gods" but a true, loving, powerful God. DM this right here and I will answer. Hope I can help you! Love, Godlygirl26.