Religion jokes
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
It took Jesus 3 days to respond.
Worst lag ever!
I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Making holy water."
She said, "How are you making holy water?"
I'm boiling the hell out of it.
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!
What does Amogus and Jesus have in common?
They're sus.
Hi! Could I join?
The dear God created the man.
Then he created woman.
When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.
I don't have a joke about Christianity.
I don't want to get crucified.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell, not heaven?
Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell.
God = what I hope to be.
Devil = what I can't accept.
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.
What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head!
I used to think that Jewish people were a myth.
But one day I realized, they Israel.
Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!