Religion jokes
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
Memes
Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? We know who Jesus’s dad was.
God's racist. He separated light from dark.
Orphans go to church to call someone father.
My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"
What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?
Baby Jesus died a virgin.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.
What was Jesus's favorite sport?
Lacrosse.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.