Religion jokes
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? We know who Jesus’s dad was.
Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
God's racist. He separated light from dark.
Memes
Orphans go to church to call someone father.
My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.
"Spray and pray," also known as a priest with an altar boy.
Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.
Obv, unless you share your residence.
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t climb up the stairs to heaven.
Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.