Religion jokes
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.
Memes
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? We know who Jesus’s dad was.
Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
God's racist. He separated light from dark.
Orphans go to church to call someone father.
My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"
What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?
Baby Jesus died a virgin.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not! He got nailed before he died.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.