Lucifer jokes
God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.
Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.
God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.
Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!
God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)
Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)
God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!
God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........
God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.
Satan and the devil are alter egos.
If Satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.
i have no comment
Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.
Lucifer is caged by Jesus, cuz he got tired of being alone on a pedestal.
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"
Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"
Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"
What is a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...
The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
Shitpost-master general
Community talk
"Oh, I'm the only one that matters. See, you messed with my daughter, and now, I am going to FUCK YOU!" ―Lucifer, threatening Adam
Once upon a time in the deepest depths of hell, Alastor, known as "The Radio Demon," found himself feeling uncharacteristically bored. As a sadistic demon with a penchant for chaos, it was rare for Alastor to experience such an emotion. However, his mischievous nature compelled him to seek out something that could bring pleasure to his twisted soul.
Eying his retrofitted radio booth, Alastor's eyes flickered with a … Read more