Lucifer jokes
Lucifer is caged by Jesus, cuz he got tired of being alone on a pedestal.
Satan and the devil are alter egos.
If Satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.
Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.
God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.
Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.
God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.
Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!
God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)
Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)
God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!
God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........
God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.
"I created the Human Torch."
Bick: Jesus isn't real.
Ron: Yes, He is.
Bick: Prove it, bitch.
Ron: Cussing is a sin. Open the curtains.
Bick: Wh-?
Ron: JUST DO IT, DAMMIT!
The sunlight shone through the window, landing on Ron and Bick. Both of them died and went to hell.
Ron: Fuck you, Jesus.
Bick: Told you Jesus was real.
Satan: Get to work, slaves.
Moral of the story: Stay off the marijuana.
What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!
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"Oh, I'm the only one that matters. See, you messed with my daughter, and now, I am going to FUCK YOU!" ―Lucifer, threatening Adam
Once upon a time in the deepest depths of hell, Alastor, known as "The Radio Demon," found himself feeling uncharacteristically bored. As a sadistic demon with a penchant for chaos, it was rare for Alastor to experience such an emotion. However, his mischievous nature compelled him to seek out something that could bring pleasure to his twisted soul.
Eying his retrofitted radio booth, Alastor's eyes flickered with a … Read more