Religion jokes

3 men go to hell. Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer, you go to heaven.

The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers. He goes to hell. The next man asks if he knew how to make furniture. He goes too. The third man pokes a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle, asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said "nope this one"😂

I don't have a joke about Christianity.

I don't want to get crucified.

Did Jesus die a virgin?

No... He got nailed! 😅

A priest, a minister, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this a joke?"

What's hot and hard?

Me when I look at children.

What’s the difference between a zit and a priest? The zit waits 'til you're 12 to cum on your face.

Bust it open for Jesus!

Father, then the priest says, "Son, Holy Spirit, amen." No, I was asking you a question, Father.

Jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed, but at 97 I died...

I think Jesus is broken.

Your hairline is so far back that not even God knows about it.

Me: uses the crucifix.

Rush: Ahahahahahahæanananana!

ISIS is the mark of the beast.

Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?

Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.

Me: Oh, okay.

Goes to school.

Teacher: How were humans made?

Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.

Teacher: 😑

Should I burn heaven?

Guys, this is so disrespectful, I love Jesus. I go to church every Tuesday morning to give Jesus a... giffffffft.

So disrespectful guys. #jesusismyhubby

Why does an orphan go to church?

So they can call someone "father."

Why Satan didn't stop sending messages to God about hell?

'Cause they made a juice out of him.

Even your mother can never fix your hairline, just God.

Why is a priest called "father?" It's too weird to call them "daddy."

Kenneth's hairline [is] friends with Moses.