Religion jokes
What is hell to you?
Jesus!!!!!
He is everywhere taking our time and energy and our lives for his entertainment.
But Judgment Day is his eternal hell!
And our Eternal Heaven!!
If I looked like Stephen Hawking, I would also be an atheist.
I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.
Do you know how many women have been pope?
Nun.
Thank the Lord for my two huge balls!
Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.
I got a joke.
Allahu Akbar!
What is the difference between a priest and a zit?
The zit waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
Did you hear about that Muslim party?
It was a blast!
Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?
A: He hates getting nailed to the boards.
Me and Jesus are really close; he even turns the light on for me when I go pee in the middle of the night. Well, that is what I thought until the fridge was wet.
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father Les.
Jesus is gay, and God is transgender.
Why do orphans pray to God?
So they have someone to call father.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
No... He got nailed! 😅
Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.
Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3
A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.
The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.