Religion jokes
Jesus is fake,
He hides from himself.
Mama is so Catholic, Swiss cheese wishes it was as holy as she is. Do you...
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So they had someone to call Father.
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
Father, then the priest says, "Son, Holy Spirit, amen." No, I was asking you a question, Father.
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?
Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?
Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.
What did Allah say when he created the universe?
-Allahu akbar!!!
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?
Allah's snackbar!
My uncle was a priest.
He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.
Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!
The undertaker's famous saying is "Rest In Peace" to all of his opponents, but really they don't rest in peace. The only peace they get is from God.
What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?
I don't worship Jesus.
What’s the difference between a Black man and a Jew?
One was born burnt.
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.