Religion jokes
I live in a world made of cheese. Someone stubbed their toe and screamed, "Cheese-its, Christ!"
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
Memes
Ignore line & ovals
My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:
Allah hu akbar.
Q: What do you call a religious Wookie?
A: Jewbacca.
What did the pizzas say to the pizza maker?
CHEESE-US!
Yo mama so old her Bible was autographed by Jesus.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!
"Pray to God her inside her head. I'm scared of God."
Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.
Do y'all love God?
What do you call the nun that hates?
For Paul Walker, Mother Teresa.
What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture.
Hey kids, are you ready for Faptisim?
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.
They should have ducked.
Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe
Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?
Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.
I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.