Religion jokes
[God creating Asians] “Alright, and the design is finished, see our new model, the Asian. It has no hair at all.”
Angel asks, “Does it eat normal food?”
God replies, “(chuckling) Oh no, not at all.”
Why did Technoblade die?
Because God wished him dead for all the orphans he made fun of.
What is God’s favorite candy?
Jesus Pieces.
Why can't orphans convert to Catholicism?
Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.
Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...
God better hope they got an elevator to Heaven.
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.
Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice.
Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
What do you call a retarded Catholic?
Asperges.
Why can Jesus walk on water?
Because rubbish floats.
How do you kill a Catholic?
Crucify them...
What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?
At least a Christian kneels in church.
Yo mama so old, she was Jesus' nanny! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
What does Adam look like?
The fat ginger baby of Boss Baby.
Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?
A: Owwww!!!!!
I live in a world made of cheese. Someone stubbed their toe and screamed, "Cheese-its, Christ!"
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.