Religion jokes
Why can Jesus walk on water?
Because rubbish floats.
How do you kill a Catholic?
Crucify them...
Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?
A: Owwww!!!!!
I live in a world made of cheese. Someone stubbed their toe and screamed, "Cheese-its, Christ!"
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
What does Adam look like?
The fat ginger baby of Boss Baby.
Yo mama so old, she was Jesus' nanny! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?
At least a Christian kneels in church.
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
Why won't an American atheist convert to the religion of Islam in the city of Dearborn, Michigan?
Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be able to join a mosque in the city of Dearborn, Michigan.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!
"Pray to God her inside her head. I'm scared of God."
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
What do you call a gay priest? Hahahahahaha!
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
Yo mama so old her Bible was autographed by Jesus.
Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.
Hey kids, are you ready for Faptisim?
I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.