Religion jokes
Ever wonder why pride month is so hot?
It's just a free trial of what's to come for the celebrators...
God made Adam and Eve.
Satan made Adam and Steve.
A pair of souls were floating up to heaven when they passed a pair of eagles.
"Ah, eagles," said the souls. The eagles were too polite to say anything.
Why are Muslims terrible at football?
Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.
Why did God make the devils die?
God is great!
Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.
What do McDonalds and priests both do?
They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.
Why did Aaron slit his wrists?
Because it's him.
Why do Indian men prefer fat women?
Because they worship cows.
[God creating Asians] “Alright, and the design is finished, see our new model, the Asian. It has no hair at all.”
Angel asks, “Does it eat normal food?”
God replies, “(chuckling) Oh no, not at all.”
Why did Technoblade die?
Because God wished him dead for all the orphans he made fun of.
What is God’s favorite candy?
Jesus Pieces.
Why can't orphans convert to Catholicism?
Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.
Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
God better hope they got an elevator to Heaven.
Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice.
Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.
What do you call a retarded Catholic?
Asperges.