Religion

Religion jokes

Jesus

What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture.

Mama

Yo mama so OLD...

Her first Christmas... WAS the FIRST CHRISTMAS!

Dad

Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?

Bar

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.

They should have ducked.

Jesus

Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?

Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.

Priest

Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?

He heard that little boy's pants were half off.

Father

We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?

“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”

Nun

What's the definition of suspicious?...

A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field. 💀

Skeleton

Why don't skeletons play music at the church?

Because they don't have any organs.

Holy Water

The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.