Religion jokes

Yo mama so old, she witnessed Noah building the ark.

God bless the shooting that happened.

Priests are priests.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.

They should have ducked.

Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe

How do gay guys finish prayer?

“GAYMEN!”

Do y'all love God?

Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?

She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.

"Pray to God her inside her head. I'm scared of God."

The Flanders Song

God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."

Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.

Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."

"Leave me alone!"

We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?

“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”

Yo mama so old her Bible was autographed by Jesus.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!

Why won't an American atheist convert to the religion of Islam in the city of Dearborn, Michigan?

Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be able to join a mosque in the city of Dearborn, Michigan.

Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.

What do you call the nun that hates?

For Paul Walker, Mother Teresa.

The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.

Why don't skeletons play music at the church?

Because they don't have any organs.

Q: What do you call a religious Wookie?

A: Jewbacca.

What did the pizzas say to the pizza maker?

CHEESE-US!