God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.
Why is "T" well-respected, but more in its lowercase form?
It crossed the line with Jesus.
It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely... So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.
Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?
Orphan: *Sobs* "No."
God, I love working at an orphanage!
I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.
A reincarnated and heavily modified T-Rex is something that's been on my drawing board for years
Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.
What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?
An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.
God said, "Let there be light," and it was lit!
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
Yo mama so black, when God saw her, he said, "Let there be light!" but twice.
Stephen Hawking only went to hell because he couldn't get up the stairway to heaven.
How do you make holy water?
You take it to church ⛪️
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?
They were both killed by Romans.
"F***, Jesus ate his stinky ass."
What’s the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits till you’re 13 to come on your face.
This isn't a joke.
There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!
What was Jesus's favorite food?
Answer: Snails
God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
What's the difference between a pope/preacher and acne?
Acne comes on your face when you're 13.
