Religion jokes
What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture.
My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:
Allah hu akbar.
Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?
He heard that little boy's pants were half off.
Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?
Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.
I once put the Bible in the fiction section.
What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?
A mosque after a missile strike.
Why do orphans like going to church?
They can actually call someone "father."
What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?
They can both flash.
God is good. God is great.
Yo mama so OLD...
Her first Christmas... WAS the FIRST CHRISTMAS!
Priests are priests.
Yo mama so old, she witnessed Noah building the ark.
God bless the shooting that happened.
Allahu Akbar.
I wish everyone spoke to each other the way God did.
What did God say to the good shepherd?
Nothing.
Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.
They should have ducked.
Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe
How do gay guys finish prayer?
“GAYMEN!”