Religion jokes
Where do terrorists go for a drink?
At the Allahu-ak Bar.
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
Memes
What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What is another name 🤔 for Holy water 💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧 💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧 🚽 toilet water.
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?
Q: What do you call two nuns watching television?
A: Not very interesting.
What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.
When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.
When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.
I thank God that I'm not as ugly as you.
What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?
The subway guy didn’t get away with it...
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)