Religion jokes
When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.
When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.
Q: What do you call two nuns watching television?
A: Not very interesting.
What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?
The subway guy didnβt get away with it...
Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?
I thank God that I'm not as ugly as you.
Memes
rβamen, brothers
What is another name π€ for Holy water π§π§π§π§π§π§π§π§π§ π§π§π§π§π§π§π§π§ π½ toilet water.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.
Lettuce pray.
POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.
The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
Why didnβt Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he gets to call someone father.
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why donβt you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.