Purgatory jokes

God: “Steven, join us.”

*sees the staircase to heaven*

Steven: “Shit.”

I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:

If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?

I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Heaven.

God had not built a ramp yet... or an escalator.

A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.

The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"

He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.

Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"

A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"

Wow, Heaven's a lot hotter than I thought it'd be.

So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.

One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.

In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"

The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."

In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"

The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."

In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"

The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."

Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"

What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?

They are all locked in the Priest's basement.