Religion jokes
I think that church is super burning 🥵.
In the Bible, it says Jesus died for our sins, but he came back to life, so what did he sacrifice?
Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?
Yo mama so fat, she the reason why Moses split the Red Sea.
How are Jews and potatoes different?
A potato keeps its skin.
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.
Obv, unless you share your residence.
If Jesus had a gun, what would it be? A nail gun.
[God creating Asians] “Alright, and the design is finished, see our new model, the Asian. It has no hair at all.”
Angel asks, “Does it eat normal food?”
God replies, “(chuckling) Oh no, not at all.”
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
Jesus created the T-pose first.
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?