Religion jokes
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
What is another name π€ for Holy water π§π§π§π§π§π§π§π§π§ π§π§π§π§π§π§π§π§ π½ toilet water.
What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?
What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.
Lettuce pray.
Memes
rβamen, brothers
Belief in Egyptian gods is just Ra-ng (wrong). π
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
What's the definition of suspicious?...
A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field. π
POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.
The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why donβt you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
Chuck Norris met God once. Now God is the puny human.
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
Where do terrorists go for a drink?
At the Allahu-ak Bar.
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
Why didnβt Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"