Relationship jokes
GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little?
Me: My sister.
SWEET HOME ALABAMAA
It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
Your taste in men is like my taste in humor: dark.
Has anyone walked in on their parents making love? I have.
Please comment! :)
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!
I pregnoot.
The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”
Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.
She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husband’s joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husband’s schlong to his pelvis.
The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,
"Honey, if you think I’ll be screwed by you for more of that, you’re out of your mind."
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
Every like this gets, I will kill a telemarketer.
Every dislike, I will kill a cute puppy.
Every comment, I will kill your ex bf or gf and send you a PS5.
Dad: You're adopted.
Son: Where are my real parents?
Dad: >:D They are dead, now come to their grave and sleep there.
Hey Gwen, reply to me and say if everything is alright.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!