Relationship jokes
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Memes
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
Ever seen the show Naked and Afraid? That’s what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
My wife said I had no sense of direction... so I packed my sh*t and left.
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”