Wow, Gwen even said she loves TJ! She just did!
Prince, look at it. You are going to be crushed. It is in bored jokes and it has 65 comments, look there!
I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.
I like my women like I like my diving pools.
Wet and deep.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
Are you Paris, 'cause Eiffel for you.
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.
Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂
If you know it, you know it.
Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.
I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.
My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"
I said: "Why?"
My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"
I said: "KNEW IT!"
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
