Relationship jokes
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
Memes
Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?
Because it's all about family!
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
What sexual position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your mum!
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
What do the Twin Towers and my ad's condom both have in common?
They both broke and everybody cried.
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!
Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.
My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.