Relationship jokes
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
Roses are red,
Potatoes are brown,
Your mom's so hot,
I put her down.
Memes
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine 😏
Q: Why are lesbians bad at math?
A: Because they can't multiply.
What holiday can an orphan not celebrate?
Mother's Day and Father's Day.
Roses are red, violets are blue, she's only red bc she sucked you.
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
Why was the Orphan boy gay?
So he can call someone Daddy.
Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
What’s the worst joke ever? Your parents’ relationship.