Relationship jokes
A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had AIDS.
Joe mama so fat that she is homeless wit you.
I love telling jokes about orphans. I mean, what are they going to do about it? Tell their parents?
My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
Because he had no body to go with.
He said he didn't want to be my brother anymore.
He's now my sister.
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.
What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?
One is a tool. The other is your mom.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.
A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?
The husband answers her: Pretty.
The wife responds: Thank yo-
The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!
Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?
What song does an orphan hate?
"We Are Family."
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
Karien: Don't care. You know what you did.
Jalie: I don't know what you mean. I did nothing! I'm telling the truth!
Karien: Sure. So you mean you never texted Oerien last night around 2:00 AM?
Jalie: NO, I NEVER DID THAT!
Karien: Jalie, stop the story telling. You were the one who had my phone yesterday. Just stop.
Just ask your dad.
What do you call gay parents?
Poly.
Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.
One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.