What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
I had a good time with friends!
"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.
Haha, I fucked you over!
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
