Relationship jokes

Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?

She ended up under the doc[tor].

Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"

Girlfriend: "No."

Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"

A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.

My brother truly is a numbskull.

I didn't put my kids up for adoption.

If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?

If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?

She’s got 20 dudes in her DMs telling her she is pretty. Stand out, call her ugly.

Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

Guy: Are you gay? I'm orphan.

P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.

What does ATM stand for?

Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.

😂🤣

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

He wiped his ass.

I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.

"You momo joso fat, she went in the ocean and the whales came up to her and started singing, ""We Are Family"" even though you are father than me."

Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.

What do you call a person with a flip flop?

My dad.

I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...

Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.

My dad is now a milkman.

Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

My boyfriend dumped me. Guess who came back crawling for his zimmer frame?