Relationship jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.
Haha, I fucked you over!
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
Memes
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.
I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.
My wife said I had no sense of direction... so I packed my sh*t and left.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”