Relationship

Relationship jokes

Orphan

What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?

They both cannot see their family.

Skin

Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.

Emo

Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?

He didn't wanna hang out.

Umbrella

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

Memes

Mama

Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.

Father

A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."

The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."

"Thanks Dad," the son says.

The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."

Exam

I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.

Hot Dog

For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

Advice

Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!

Bestfriend

Bestfriend @3am: I love you.

Me: Love you too.

*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*

I don't know if this is funny.

Coffin

Me: Good night, everyone.

My friends and family: Night.

Me: *gets in coffin*

My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?

My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.

Ex

Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”

Person 2: “What happened?”

Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”

Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”

Person 1: “I was in my car.”

Necrophilia

I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.