Relationship jokes
Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror, her reflection threw up and ran away.
Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.
You used to be someone’s sunshine, but sorry, the climate changed. 😂😂😂😂
Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
*guitar solo*
Me: Do you know a funny joke?
Friend: Yes, you.
A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.
Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”
Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?
Because they want to call someone "daddy."
Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.
I like wine how I like my woman.
4 year old locked in a basement.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Alone time.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
Why do orphans love Dom Toretto?
Because "family is everything!"
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.
Carly (😊): What a beautiful day, huh?
Bianca (😔): Yes, for you it is.
Carly (😟): What's wrong?
Bianca (😕): Nothing, nothing at all...
Carly (😠): Don't lie to me...
Carly (🤔): Hmmm... Jordan???
Carly (😈): Because if so, I can take him out like this...
Bianca (😔🙄😒): Thank you... no... and I don't give a damn anymore!
Carly (😠): Bianca, trust me, you don't love him anyway!
Bianca (😒): Please, Carlyana, please keep your fucking face out of this.
Carly (😈): No need to curse, I can do that to Jordan if you want...
Bianca (😔): Well... shut your mouth and leave me alone!
How did the guy greet his wife?
"Howdy, sister!"
I call my girlfriend .05 because she's a bag I blow into when I've had a few drinks.
Who did yo mama marry?
Joe Mama.
My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.
Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.
Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.