Relationship jokes
Are you a blood bender? 'Cause you're making my blood go southπ€.
Wade likes Luiz!
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
What starts with M, ends with arriage, and is every guy's favorite thing? Miscarriage.
That one never gets old, just like the baby.
"Where are you? I need to throw you out because Mum said to take out the trash."
I bet my mum thinks this π
A person walks into the bar and said, "Hey barman, get my son a drink and tell him his dad is dead."
Who said that?
What do you call a school bus that you cannot drive?
A friend.
Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me, so we went and rocked the minivan like, "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!"
What's a gay person's favorite meal?
Meat with white sticky stuff.
Not sure if domestic violence joke or penis size joke...
What did the woman say to the man?
"Stop."
What did the man do?
Keep going.
FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE
Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!
(I am still a single young virgin.)
Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg":
"I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing without a few ice Bergs."
My wife left me yesterday.
I haven't talked to the kids in a year.
Son, you are not precious, so pack your bags because someone else is going to adopt you.
Dad, what do you mean someone else will adopt me?
Son, you're adopted!
Mum is the best!
After sleeping with her boyfriend for the first time, the lead singer of Blackbriar told her friend all about it: "Ik zora cock!"
Who did Stephen Hawking love more than anyone else?
His wife, "Eye," who was also bad at running.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my bed has room for 2 ;)
Friend: Do you think she likes me?
Me: Yah.
Friend: Reallyπππ?
Me: Hell no.
Friend: π₯ππ«ππππππ You did not have to be so honest.