Relationship jokes
Once a boy named penis had a crush on a girl named vagina. Their teacher found out and explained not to bump into each other; as innocence, they said yes.
One day, penis found his teacher in the bed naked masturbating. The teacher wanted hardcore anal sex, but vagina found it out and went to see them. The teacher told vagina that it's normal. Penis said, "Gosh, that it's normal, I put my dildo in vagina's pussy." Then they three had a hell of a time and they all were pleasured, but after six months, they both had a child, one named dildo and another named pussy.
So, narrated, it can be told that penis had sex with vagina and her teacher normally but ended up getting a dildo and pussy.
Your mom is fat.
Oooo, roasted!
Well, I don't have a joke but... I have a poem.
My dick is red, your pussy is blue. I... lied to you.
Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!
(I am still a single young virgin.)
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
What did the woman say to the man?
"Stop."
What did the man do?
Keep going.
FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE
"Where are you? I need to throw you out because Mum said to take out the trash."
What starts with M, ends with arriage, and is every guy's favorite thing? Miscarriage.
That one never gets old, just like the baby.
Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg":
"I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing without a few ice Bergs."
Not sure if domestic violence joke or penis size joke...
Who did Stephen Hawking love more than anyone else?
His wife, "Eye," who was also bad at running.
Son, you are not precious, so pack your bags because someone else is going to adopt you.
Dad, what do you mean someone else will adopt me?
Son, you're adopted!
Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me, so we went and rocked the minivan like, "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!"
Are you a blood bender? 'Cause you're making my blood go south🖤.
Wade likes Luiz!
Diabetic wives are like Cillit Bang. Squeeze them a bit and bang! The bed is gone.
My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!
Especially in bed...
I like my coffee like my men, long and black.
So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.
So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"
I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"
She said, "*sniff* yes."
Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."
Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."
Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"
Ex-girlfriend: "20!"
Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."