Hey Gwen, uhhhhhhh, fresfry told me to tell you I like you. Jk, I don't.
Relationship Jokes
Did you know there’s a sex move called Amazon?
You wait all day and nobody comes.
My boyfriend's sister is mad because I smashed his girl.
*Son comes out as gay*
Me: What's 17 more years?
I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have big dick. Add me.
Snapchat- any.bry05
Women, you're a marshmallow because you're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.
Know why they call gonorrhea gonorrhea?
'Cause once you have it, everyone is gone.
I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have a big dick and a very clean house. Add me now.
Snapchat: @colin_green21
I fucked your mum last night, that she was salty.
What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...
Alright ALYA and drew ALYA's boyfriend!! Have a good fucking life, I hardly even think drew is real but uk whatever I've passed on but DREW if u fucking wanna beef, I'll fight u bro, ur prob a stick, I'm fucking doing push ups 4 times a week 100 each.
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.
When your wife takes 30 minutes to get ready.
Me: Takes five minutes.
Me: Hun, you done yet?
Your mom is fat, oh yeah, oh yeah, uh, uhhh.
"Hey, is that a peach?"
*gets slapped on the butt*
"Noted."
It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me.
What do you get when you cross mums and makeup?
Beauty!
Why are there only 362 days in an orphan's calendar? They don’t have Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Family Day.
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
Me: Sister, are you wearing makeup?
My sister wearing all the world's makeup.
Sister: Just a little.
