Relationship jokes
I pregnoot.
Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Heard the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
I ear ass your dad's ass and he likes it.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got ran over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.
The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Dark, rich, and imported.
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of the time.
Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.
Gf:...
Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
Mum is the best!
Pussy = drugs.
Bully: Ha, guess what?
Nerd: What?
Bully: You are adopted.
Nerd: At least I was wanted!
Why is it that skinny men love fat women?
Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!
Me be like: ;-;
I was talking to my old friend. They said, "We should hang out more!"
I said, "You mean we should ketchup?"