Relationship jokes
Friends = your power level.
Emo kid = power level: 0000.
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.
What do you call a photo of an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
I just want to say this...
You have NO maidens, (Explosion) No homies, (ExPlOsIoN) And no—please don’t say it! Rizz 😎 (EXPLOSION)
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.
So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.
Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.
By the time I ran my wife over with my car, I had to stop for gas twice.
Your mama is so fat. Her high school picture is an aerial photograph.
Your mama is so fat, guys have to bring climbing equipment to have sex with her.
What do you call your mom?
Monkey.
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
You're so hot!
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.
Hey girl, are you a diamond pick?
'Cause I'm as hard as obsidian.
Chris said to me in P.E. that he likes Jacob, and he said he wants to go straight to the bedroom.