Relationship jokes

Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.

I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.

Guess who likes vegetables now?

My friend Enyaw is gay, she is a cunt.

What did the boy banana say to the girl banana?

"Dang girl, you are so appealing!" 😙

Why did the doctor turn the orphan down?

Because he is a family doctor.

Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”

Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?

Sans: Measuring your patience.

Papyrus: Grunts

"You suck. I don't wanna be married anymore ://////"

If a woman says she needs to set boundaries between you and her, you would be crossing it if you are a Mexican.

What did the first guy say to the second? Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?

Sisters before misters.

I hope you get better.

I love you.

Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.

Bros over hos.

Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?

A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.

Wife: Honey, I love you.

Husband: I love you all.

Wife: Awww.......... Wait WHAT?!?!??!

I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.

What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?

Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?

Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?

Next time I’m bringing all my friends.

Masturbation is better than rough sex.

My friend and I got into a fight. I looked straight forward and said, "Look me in my eyes!"