Relationship jokes
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?
When is Father's Day?
Nine months before Mother's Day.
I love you, my new phone! 📲
What can you build with people? A boat!
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Mother.
Mother who?
Fuck off bichon, I'm your mother!
Hey Stacey, love!
If anyone can see Alya KUHL please tell me! I love and miss her...
I asked a kid where their parents were...
Lol
What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
Your mom is a joke.
What did the glove say to his girlfriend?
I glove you!
Why can't orphans be gay? They got no one to call daddy.
My dad was a master of art. He was compared to Houdini due to his skill of disappearing.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait!
What does one gay guy say to his boyfriend before he leaves for a vacation?
"Need help packing your shit?"
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.