Relationship jokes
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
What did the naked man say to the naked woman?
"Suck my dick."
When the moon hits the earth,
IT Moon-chan kissing Earth-chan.
Little Johnny wanted a lolly, so his dada gave him dick.
What do you call your dad?
You don't. Hahahahaha!
Memes
A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asked what that was for.
"It is for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"
I hate my wife.
*cue laugh*
Rubbing everywhere but not the clit and asking, "Do you like that?"
(dude wtf)
Why do any orphans have sex?
Because they can't call anyone "daddy."
Your momma's so nasty, she sucked your daddy's dick and kissed you good night!
Can you believe they're still together after everything they've been through?
Who you might ask...
YOUR ASS CHEEKS!
Who likes penis?
My cousin!
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked my mom how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your new stepfather."
I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
Your mom gay.
Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?
To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.
What do Nemo and my dad have in common?
They both can't be found.
My girl walks in the room in nude mode and sat on my dick. I said, "What up, your pussy?" She said, "Your dick."
Your family.