I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.
Relationship Jokes
My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"
Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!
An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.
"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.
Roses are red, violets are blue, it's really no wonder your mama left you!
What did the feather say to his wife?
You light my day.
I'm Joe Biden's husband.
π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π©πππ·π΅π+/;!Β₯/%? Fuckfuckfuuk of your own is also a joke about your relationship with Google and Twitter users who don't know what they think of their own personal life, and the way they have been involved since the last few years of debate is the only thing.
Why did the penis go fly?
Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.
I miss my wife, Tails.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they got nobody to call "daddy."
Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"
This dick ain't gon to suck itself.
<π__ \ π \ _/ π\_
My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.
Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
Why is the orphan cold?
'Cause there's no one to cuddle with.
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched her thigh and said, "Do you wanna?" Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and they had some fun.
But silly Jill forgot her pills, and so they had a son.
I told people your mom is also known as "MBD" because you're a mega baby dispenser.
It says in the Bible to only think about whatβs pure and lovely... So Iβve been thinking about you all day long.
