Relationship jokes

What's the difference between a happy family and a car guy? Only one has a family.

My dad left me.

My name is Justin. I like boys. Hit me up?

I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"

She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.

Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?

12 year old me: Yeah!

Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?

Me: What?

Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?

Dad: Because you were made there.

Mum: We haven't been to Canada.

Dad: Hol' up a minute.

Aaron, you glad I didn't make this joke?

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"

After all these walkers, you still walk over me.

What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"

What do you call skeletons having sex?

When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.

Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"

Evan, me and your mom are done with you.

"Send me back, I never liked you."

What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.

I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.

She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.

Knock knock. Who's there? Jo. Jo who? Jo Auntie.

Mom