Relationship jokes

I finally got a girlfriend.

Her name is Remington Model 32.

A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.

My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.

Your mum gay.

I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.

I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."

My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!

What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?

You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.

I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.

I am Mario's brother.

My son.

Pickup line for gay people:

Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.

Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.

If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.

Me: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Me: Your parents.

Why can orphans have sex?

They have no one to call "daddy."

I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.

A bully chokes me. I simply say, "Joke's on you, I like being choked!"