Relationship jokes
Have you heard the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying.
Not so great way to find out you are adopted.
Love? Is impossible.
What is you main food?
Me: Pizza cause I'm cheesy.
Friend: Chocolate chips cause I have a lot of friends.
Girlfriend: Donut cause I have a lot of cream.
What is a boyfriend?
How much cum does a gay guy have?
An ass loaded.
"I love you 😘" was the night you got a iiooooo.
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?
12 year old me: Yeah!
Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?
Me: What?
I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
Aaron, you glad I didn't make this joke?
My name is Justin. I like boys. Hit me up?
Why was the kid sad?
He was adopted.
What's the difference between you and your mom?
I slept with your mom.
Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.
Orphan: I don’t have parents.
My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."
When's the only time a rapeboat is quiet? When he got his uncle's cock in his mouth.
Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.
Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*
Dad: Babe, we need to talk.
Mom: Okay......
Dad: He's grounded.
Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.
Son: Am I getting a new daddy?
Mom: Soon honey, soon....
Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.
I used to have a girlfriend who would argue with me a lot for no reason. I look at her feet and say to her, "Here is £15, give yourself a foot pedicure, then come back to me. It clearly shows you have man feet. You are a woman; you should have woman feet. No wonder you boss me around too much as if you're the man of the house."
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
Imagine the only way you can get laid is if you force it. 😂 Loser!