It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely... So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.
Relationship Jokes
Gwen: Addison, I don't mean to be mean but you're really starting to be an asshole!
Addison: I don't know what you mean. I've always been an asshole. That is why people pound me in the asshole!
Kariah: That's sad!
A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."
What do girls and toilet roll have in common?
They both deal with a lot of crap.
Me: Mom, we made a cake.
Bully: Guess what?
Me: What?
Bully: Nobody cares!
Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!
What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo?
A family photo.
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
What song does an orphan hate?
"We Are Family."
What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"
Your mum gay.
Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.
Girl: Boys are like sports, they get played.
Boy: Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.
Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.
Don't ever wanna fuck a dude!!
I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.
Why does your mom hate you?
Because you are a loser.
What does a wife and a boombox have in common?
They only work when you beat them.
