Relationship jokes
Why does Sally hate herself? Because Sophie stole her boy.
What do you call an octopus whose father left?
An octopie.
Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?
When the moon hits the earth,
IT Moon-chan kissing Earth-chan.
What did the naked man say to the naked woman?
"Suck my dick."
Little Johnny wanted a lolly, so his dada gave him dick.
What do you call your dad?
You don't. Hahahahaha!
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked my mom how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your new stepfather."
I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!
Hey anime girl, I hope you know that Jayden is a boy and we got back together.
Hahahaha, you never had a chance, so hahahaha!
A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asked what that was for.
"It is for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
What do you call a gay man that performs fellatio on a man and cunnilingus on a woman, a person who is curious about male bisexuality, a man that is bicurious?
Does it cycle now?
I hate my wife.
*cue laugh*
Can you believe they're still together after everything they've been through?
Who you might ask...
YOUR ASS CHEEKS!
Rubbing everywhere but not the clit and asking, "Do you like that?"
(dude wtf)
Why do any orphans have sex?
Because they can't call anyone "daddy."
Your momma's so nasty, she sucked your daddy's dick and kissed you good night!
Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?
Who likes penis?
My cousin!