Relationship jokes

People love you.

Don't die.

Why were you born?

Because I asked out your mom on accident.

My wife told me, "Don't buy 1 gun while on your trip," so I decided to buy 2 guns instead.

Being gay must be a pain in the ass.

Me and my mom order Chinese food.

My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."

I'm serious, what's a "dad?"

My wife said she wanted to leave me. She said it’s because of the abuse, but really, she’s the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got poisoning the next day. This shows almost half of the woman’s population is weak both physically and mentally.

My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.

Ha Ha Ha

I thought it was funny.

Shaenaya is single, 16, and looking for a 30 year old man that can pleasure her, huh?

Dear uncle, I want my condoms.

So I was doing a puzzle, and I was getting triggered with it. My friend said, "It's puzzling why you're so triggered."

Anal sex is for A**holes.

Your mom gay.

Ur mum gay, lul.

My friend is gay lol. I'm a spagetie fucc, lemme smash, Becky!

I have a daughter; she’s a fan. Her name is Penny. Fan she was born on the mountain Pen y Fan. I adopted her because her mum fell off the cliff after birthing Penny. It doesn’t matter, really; Penny’s mum wasn’t a big fan of her anyway.

Gay person to girl: What’s your favorite planet?

Girl: Penus-(penis)(venus), and what is yours?

Gay person: What else, it's Your Anus (Uranus)!😅

So, I was f**king my daughter the other night, and I don’t know what was funnier: the looks on my wife’s face when she walked in on me or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

I would make a joke about your sister, but she banged me.

What am I doing?

Your mom.