A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."
My life, your life, and your sister is a slut.
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
A married couple are on holiday in Italia. They look at the Leaning Tower of Pisa. He says: - Look, honey, this tower is crookedly standing! She: - Shut up!
(Standing means: penis erection)
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"
The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."
I sucked a dick.
I have a son. Her name is Zara.
I also have a dad. Her name is Lydia.
My marriage was on the rocks, so I buried my wife under some.
Uh, uh, fuck me, daddy!
So Joe was at the store and he was looking for a dildo.
Then he saw one made out of dick skin, so he grabbed it and uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh UhuhUhUhUhUhuHuHuHuHUHUHUHUHUHUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH went his mouth.
PENIS PENIS
Fuck you and your shitty family!
When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"
If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.
Are you Roblox? 'Cuz I wanna play ya all day.
I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships.
It's a sad state of affairs.
Person 1: Omg, my blind boyfriend cheated on me.
Person 2: What did you expect? Him to see other hoes...
I am cutie cutie, just like my bro, herishy.
I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.
The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.
