Relationship jokes

The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.

She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭

I hate family reunions. I see too many of my exes there.

When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.

What’s the best thing about a blowjob?

The silence.

What is the difference between you and an orphan?

Orphans have zero family.

My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

Me: You have pretty eyes.

Her: Thank you.

Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴

Want to do a titcock dance with me?

I love Mekhi!

Just ask your dad.

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

Friends, gather here.

Samantha, Josephine, Stevie, Jess, Alice, and Alex.

What did the kid say to the orphan?

"Well, at least I have parents!"

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.

Why is Bill the bad guy?

Monica wanted to suck dick.