Relationship jokes
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted!
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?
My ex's love for me :(
I still love the dude sadly, but I won't take him back.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Your father.
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
What sexual position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your mum!
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
Once upon a time, a man said to a woman, "I want to fuck you."
Dating a girl and studying mathematics, both give a headache.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?
Son: Dad, please don't.
Dad: Exactly.
How do you know when your wife is cheating on you?
She comes home with sparkles on her face.
Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.
I was at my boyfriend's house, and I thought he was cheating on me. He was on the phone with somebody, and he said he'd be over there soon. So I asked him if I could see his phone. He said no, and then we fought about it until I saw his gun, and because I thought he was lying to me, I shot him, went through his phone, and his friend was still on the phone.
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
Gwen: Bastard, dummy, and is the dang ding one who started this, because of you Gwen I am now bullied! It's not the unknown will it is a lot but mostly you! AND ANNOYING YOU SHALL BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO WONDER EVERYONE HATES YOU!
Best, Tenya!
What does a woman call Stormzy in bed?
Stiff chocolate.
I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.