Relationship jokes
Hey, what do you call a beta simp?
You call me the beta simp.
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
Who needs sex when they have Valorant?
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
What do you call an orphan selfie?
A family photo.
Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
Hey, is anyone’s mom missing? Yeah, yours.
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
Yo mama joke.
Jada Smith: Grow some balls!
Me: Grow some hair!
How does an orphan call his parents?
"..."
What did Vegeta say to Bulma?
What?
Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.