Relationship jokes
Me: Hey you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong.
Trashy pig woman: Why?
Me: Because you smell like fart and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
Dad: Son, I came back.
Son: Where is the milk?
Dad: Time for another 10 years.
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
I f..... Nan and dust came out. 😂
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
Who's in my ass?
Your sister.
He: "I love you."
Me: "I love myself too."
I have 206 bones. When I look at you, I have 207.
What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?
There's twenty of them!
Jada Smith: Grow some balls!
Me: Grow some hair!
Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?
Because they want to call someone "daddy."
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...
"and i oop"
Roses are red, violets are blue; blood's thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.
I feel wrong. What does this make us?
Still cousins.