Relationship jokes

You used to be someone’s sunshine, but sorry, the climate changed. 😂😂😂😂

Guy and Girl are in the shower talking to each other.

Guy: Let's drop the soap.

Girl: Let's do it!

Me: Hey! Look at my drawing of deez!

My babysitter: Very nice! But, uh, what’s deez?

Me: (¬‿¬)

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

My guy: I have a Q-Tip.

Me: You can Q my tip.

My guy: Ayo!

I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.

What is the difference between interstate and intercourse?

Your eyebrows run away like your dad.

What is the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."

Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror, her reflection threw up and ran away.

Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?

Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!

Yo mama so ugly, we all are trying to help her look better.

Are you a builder? Because you are giving me an erection.

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

Calendars got dates.

Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!

💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?

Cum Junkie.

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

I'm not counting, but I have some fingers for you.