Relationship jokes
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
Hey, what do you call a beta simp?
You call me the beta simp.
Who needs sex when they have Valorant?
What wastes your money as you earn it?
Women.
Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."
"I want to kill my family."
-realizes-
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
What is the difference between you and an orphan?
Orphans have zero family.
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
Trump pumped and dumped his wife at the border.
Want to do a titcock dance with me?
What do you call an orphan taking a picture of themself?
A family photo.
I love Mekhi!
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.