Relationship jokes
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
Person 1: Yassin has sex with a piece of sex.
Person 2: Nice, can I have some of your balls?
So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.
When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
My sister lost two things today:
1: Her virginity.
2: Her job at the zoo.
Mom!
It's been a while since I've talked to either Prince or tj. Do any of you boys wanna chat? Plapls?
Mom!
I am sooooooo bored, Gwen, can you please get on, or anybody, since I'm weirdly obsessed with Gwen.
I took my mother-in-law out today...
I love being a sniper.
Gwen, I thought you would be with me if Prince broke up with you... :((((((
Can you be my daddy? 🍌😘😉
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
The only people who do yo mama jokes wish they had a mom.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.