Relationship jokes

"Me and Explain Boat (RapBoat) are going to be married tomorrow," - Explain Bear.

A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

My heart is dead.

I’m such a fool.

Why did I fall for you?

I have a heart, alright. I just happen to see a mere hollow shell of one coming from you.

I want to be a bag so we can be together.

Isn't Barbie supposed to come with Ken?

Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She fakes it with Ken.

People always call me heartless. That’s not true. I have a heart... it just wasn’t meant for you.

If she's not ready for an X-rated movie, she's not ready for this X-rated booty.

Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?

My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.

I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.

Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax.

Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?

Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.

"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.

I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.

I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.

I called her the Fallen Angel.

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

Once you've had the mother,

Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.