Relationship jokes

Teacher

Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher? Because there was no chemistry...

Anniversary

I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

Mama

Anonymous · 5 years ago

Yo mama is so stupid, because when she gave birth to you, she asked for a receipt!

Momma

Addison Banks age (8) · 5 years ago

Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Momma?

Momma who?

Big Momma!

Wine

Cupツ · 2 years ago

OOp -_- fr

A screenshot of a text message exchange. One person asks, "What are you doing?" The other replies, "Laying in bed." The first person asks, "Just laying in bed, nothing else?;)" The other replies, "I'm drinking wine." The first person asks, "What would you do if I was in bed next to you?" The other replies, "Drink my wine." The first person says, "LOL, I mean if the wine wasn't there!" The other replies, "Go buy wine."

Relationship memes

Woman

smartass · 8 years ago

What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises, and has a broken jaw?

"Will you listen now?!??"

Sign

Anonymous · 7 years ago

My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.

To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

Girlfriend

Anonymous · 3 years ago

Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:

"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."

Height

Anonymous · 5 years ago

You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.

Number

Anonymous · 3 years ago

Why did 6 hate 7?

Because 7 ate 9!

Sister

Anonymous · 4 years ago

Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.

Sister

Some cringy guy 68 · 7 years ago

GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little?

Me: My sister.

SWEET HOME ALABAMAA

Watersharky

jacethehater · 5 years ago

"Watersharky, we need a little talking..."

Man

Ebere86 · 2 years ago

Why are gay men better than straight women?

Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.

Girlfriend

Anonymous · 3 years ago

My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.

So, this woman had a job. She wanted to hang out with her boyfriend, so she lied about having the coronavirus. Then she got out of work. Then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend. Then she said, "I lied. Now we can...you know...water...sigh...lick...sigh." Then her boss texted, "Ew and YOU'RE FIRED."

One more story: One day this teen named Alexis got kicked out of a house, then went to live with her boyfriend. Then she got pregnant and posted it all on social media.