Relationship jokes
A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.
“Those are just contractions.”
How to trick a gay man into having sex with a woman?
Take a dump on her vagina!
There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
Why can’t an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex?
Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣
Your momma! OHHHHH!
What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.
What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?
I don't have a girlfriend.
Why can't melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
My mother was suffering from menstrual pain. So I fucked her for 7 hours to ease her pain. I continued to do so for the next 6 days. Even after fucking her 51 times during her 7-day period, I fucked her 5-6 times a day for the next three months and stopped her period for 9 months! Only her son can understand and ease the pain of a mother.
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.
For my girlfriend and friends to chat :)
If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?
Freshfry, my friend, please talk to me!
Would I be considered a "homo" because I have sex at home?
Imagine not having parents. Lol.