Relationship jokes
Q: What do you call a virgin from Alabama?
A: An orphan.
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.
Yo life so miserable, the adoption center wouldn't sell you, just give you away!
When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.
My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.
Leo is like a cloud... when she disappears, it's a beautiful day.
Slade must be WiFi... because I’m not feeling a CONNECTION.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?
They both be fucking sugar daddies.
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”
The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You look like Shrek, And you make me peck.
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
My friend jokingly confessed to me she did prostitution (consensual).
She wasn't joking. :0
We are 15....
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.