I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
Rapboat has to drug his own drink to get laid.
When's the only time a rapeboat is quiet? When he got his uncle's cock in his mouth.
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
I’m breaking up with you, bitch.
Why don't butts get along?
Because they can't stand each other's cheek!
What do you get when you cross a butt with a phone?
A booty call.
If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
Your momma!
"You suck. I don't wanna be married anymore ://////"
What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.
Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"
Your mom has a bone to pick with me.
"Send me back, I never liked you."
I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.
She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.
Water to his Dad, Steam: Hi, Dad, I mist you!
Steam: double-you(w). aich(h). ay(a). tee(t)?
