Who needs sex when they have Valorant?
Relationship Jokes
What do you call an orphan selfie?
A family photo.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
I asked a kid where their parents were...
Lol
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
The thing my mom birthed.
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
What wastes your money as you earn it?
Women.
Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."
"I want to kill my family."
-realizes-
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅
In America, mom births you.
In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.
Bully: How is your girlfriend?
Me: I don't have one!
Bully: I know!
Me: How are your parents?
*Walks out of orphanage*
Why are you guys making fun of priests?
Because you have a suga daddy already.
