Relationship jokes
I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."
Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.
My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Alone time.
"Just ditched a woman. Feelin' good!" -Techno
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait!
What do you call an orphan's selfie?
A family photo.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.
Carly (😊): What a beautiful day, huh?
Bianca (😔): Yes, for you it is.
Carly (😟): What's wrong?
Bianca (😕): Nothing, nothing at all...
Carly (😠): Don't lie to me...
Carly (🤔): Hmmm... Jordan???
Carly (😈): Because if so, I can take him out like this...
Bianca (😔🙄😒): Thank you... no... and I don't give a damn anymore!
Carly (😠): Bianca, trust me, you don't love him anyway!
Bianca (😒): Please, Carlyana, please keep your fucking face out of this.
Carly (😈): No need to curse, I can do that to Jordan if you want...
Bianca (😔): Well... shut your mouth and leave me alone!
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Without other people's dicks in it.
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.
I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"