Relationship jokes
My friend thinks he is funny.
He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.
Why do I f*** my mom?
Like father like son. #batabababa
Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model...
Your family in a nutshell.
I first saw her in the Walmart picking out your drawers.
And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.
"Doin' doin' your mom, doin' doin' your mom."
Masturbation is better than rough sex.
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."
Oh, you're jealous now.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Everybody loves "appreciation." So that's what I named my dick.
When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
Evan, mom hot?
I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.
So I ended up doing the YMCA.