Relationship jokes
Why can't an orphan have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
I tried to have phone sex once.
But the holes were too small.
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't know their daddy.
My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
Why do orphans like to have sex?
So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."
Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.
Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.
Daddy, harder!
Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?
What's the difference between a boomerang and your dad?
Boomerangs come back.
She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.
Are you adopted?
No.
I mean, who would want you?
Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?
They actually can call someone "daddy!"
Kiwi loves Brad.
Yo mama so fat, she took both sides of the family.
If my son was a real man, I wouldn't have caught him fucking another man.
What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?
I want them both in my mouth!
The only food I want to review is my wife's rear end.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.