Relationship jokes
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter. It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."
So Joe was at the store and he was looking for a dildo.
Then he saw one made out of dick skin, so he grabbed it and uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh UhuhUhUhUhUhuHuHuHuHUHUHUHUHUHUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH went his mouth.
PENIS PENIS
Friend: Do you think she likes me?
Me: Yah.
Friend: Really😀😀😀?
Me: Hell no.
Friend: 😥😓😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 You did not have to be so honest.
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.
Your mom stinks.
That is my joke.
You mom doesn’t really stink.
I know I am stupid. 🤕
Fila is a cool brand. I fill a cock in your man's pussy.
Girl: I like girls.
Dad: Ok?
Girl 2: I like girls too.
Dad: Okay, so who likes boys?!
Boy: I do.
I want your cock in my rock bottom.
Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.
Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
Hey, this is to orphans:
"Orphans are ugly. We need to know each other :D We need to date, cause ur hot and so am I and orphans rly are ugly!!!!"
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(
My wife accused me of cheating. I told her she started to sound like my wife.
Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.