Relationship jokes

What did mum say when grandpa called?

Boomerang.

Why do orphans like fucking other dads?

Because they get to have a daddy.

Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.

Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

My girlfriend's name is Candice.

Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D

I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.

I bet your hairline goes inside your private part, and your girlfriend can’t even touch it.

Your butt is bigger than my ex-girlfriend's butt, and I love it!

Ur mom loves to eat logs, lmao.

My mate Noha.

If you can't see your family... you're an orphan.

I like to make your mom jokes.

Because they're easy like your mom.

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

Why did my parents walk to the other side?

...Why?

What’s it called when an orphan takes a photo?

A family picture.

Mummy, how was I born?

Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."