Relationship jokes

Don't break girls' hearts. Break their legs instead. They're two.

"Go frick a cow!"

"I already fricked your mother."

What did the emo guy say to the emo girl?

"Like ur cute g."

Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?

To get the ice cream for the grandma.

Orphan: I love abcdefu!

Caretaker: Why? You don't have anyone to flip off.

Why can't an orphan have sex?

They have no one to call "daddy."

Why can't orphans be gay? They don't know their daddy.

Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.

Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.

Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.

She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.

What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?

They can't stand up for themselves.

What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?

My Chemical Romance.

I tried to have phone sex once.

But the holes were too small.

Why do orphans like to have sex?

So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."

Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

"Yol, what do you think about sex?"

"Good."

Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.