Relationship jokes

What relationship status fits an orphan?

Single.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

IDK! WHY?

To go see yo mama!

One time, I broke up with my Roblox girlfriend by sending her a message. Thirty seconds later, I heard my uncle crying in the next room.

My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.

What does an astronaut call his ex from space?

SpaceX.

What did the man say to his wife? "Make me a damn sandwich, woman!"

I like my girlfriends like my children: dead.

Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.

My father taught me a lesson of sex in a hypothetical way.

My stepmother gave me a lesson [on] how [it] is going inside?

I'm not counting, but I have some fingers for you.

Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?

Ask an orphan.

I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.

I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."

Tell rumors about me, but please don't say I'm in a love relationship.

Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.

Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.

Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"

I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."

My bro said food was cool. So I threw a piece of cool chicken at him. For some reason, he hit me, OOF.

I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".

If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".

If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".

I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."