Relationship jokes

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

I fucked a wall.

Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

"Yol, what do you think about sex?"

"Good."

My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.

What’s the bravest thing a man can do?

Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.

Are you a horse, because I want to ride you?

Kaleb: Addison, are you okay???

Addison: Not at all. People think I'm annoying and stupid! Do you?

Kaleb: Yes, once I pound you in the ass.

I have 25 friends from the alphabet, but don't ask me why.

Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.

I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.

Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.

Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.

Why can’t orphans be gay?

They have no one to call "daddy."

You're adopted.

Myla, what did you do for Father's Day?

Myla: I went to a restaurant.

Timmy, what did you do for Father's Day?

Timmy: I went to a concert.

Olivia, what did you do for Father's Day?

Olivia: Talked to him through an ouija board.

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.