Relationship jokes
Where's your mom at?
Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.
"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."
I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.
When meeting her parents doesn't require you to leave the house.
toastie will you do this with me
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
What’s the difference between milk and the air?
At least the air will always be there for me.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
I love my family.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
Funny things or weird things to say to someone.
Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.
It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!
Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.
Baby-Bugga-Boo.
Fuzzkins.
Lumpy.
Nilly.
Ninty Minty.
and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!
Your taste in men is like my taste in humor: dark.
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."
When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
Wife is texting husband:
"Honey, if I give you 300 dollars, will you stop being blind?"
Husband: "seilghsielguG"
Wife: "Seriously, David?"
Husband: "fuweyadb"
Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?
Wife: You have good eyesight.