My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
Relationship Jokes
A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.
His wife was up waiting for him.
"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.
He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.
Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.
The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
Your mama's like a cardboard box: open to the public and easy to nail.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
I asked my dad to come to my Father’s Day breakfast.
The orphanage worker just said, “Don’t be silly!”
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
I have friends.
I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.
After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.
Roses are red, I failed my test, All because of Hugh and his incest.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see.
Evan, mom hot?
My friend thinks he is funny.
He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.
