Relationship jokes

My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.

Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.

What do you and Joe Biden have in common?

Nobody loves you or him.

His name is "Daddy!" HELP!

Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.

Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.

My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.

What’s the bravest thing a man can do?

Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.

Gina: Ha! YOU HAVE NOTHING!

Orphan: Yes I do.

Gina: What do you have then?

Orphan: Parents.

Gina: LIAR!

Having sex with three people is a threesome.

Having sex with four people is a foursome.

Then maybe I am handsome after all...

Kaleb: Addison, are you okay???

Addison: Not at all. People think I'm annoying and stupid! Do you?

Kaleb: Yes, once I pound you in the ass.

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

My girlfriend's name is Candice.

Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D

Why do orphans like fucking other dads?

Because they get to have a daddy.

Are you a horse, because I want to ride you?

I fucked a wall.

Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"