Relationship jokes

Why can't an orphan have sex?

They have no one to call "daddy."

I tried to have phone sex once.

But the holes were too small.

Why can't orphans be gay? They don't know their daddy.

Why do orphans like to have sex?

So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."

My friend jokingly confessed to me she did prostitution (consensual).

She wasn't joking. :0

We are 15....

Yo life so miserable, the adoption center wouldn't sell you, just give you away!

When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.

My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You look like Shrek, And you make me peck.

Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.

Mummy, how was I born?

Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."

I suck Cyrus's dick when he is sleeping.

Why did my parents walk to the other side?

...Why?

I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.

Your mom.

Your dad!

Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

What’s it called when an orphan takes a photo?

A family picture.

Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"

James replied, "He's as old as me."

Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."

James then said, "He became my father when I was born."

My love for you is like poop.

Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."