Relationship jokes
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.
What do you call sex with a hoover?
Clean sex.
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."
You're adopted, do you want to know why? Because you're so ugly.
I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.
She is not “fun to be around.”
Are you feeling down? Because I wanna feel you up.
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!
"Go frick a cow!"
"I already fricked your mother."
What did the emo guy say to the emo girl?
"Like ur cute g."
What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?
At least Daniel has a mom.
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?
To get the ice cream for the grandma.
Orphan: I love abcdefu!
Caretaker: Why? You don't have anyone to flip off.
My boyfriend dumped me. Guess who came back crawling for his zimmer frame?
I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"
Bully: How’s your girlfriend?
Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?
Bully: *cries*
Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.