Relationship jokes

While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋

Your mom gay.

My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.

It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!

Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.

Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.

My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

Bros over hos.

Roses are red, I failed my test, All because of Hugh and his incest.

I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.

So I ended up doing the YMCA.

I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.

After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.

You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.

I asked my dad to come to my Father’s Day breakfast.

The orphanage worker just said, “Don’t be silly!”

My dad came out of my step-sister's room as I came out of my step-mum's room.

The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.

Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!

Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.

Q: What do you call a virgin from Alabama?

A: An orphan.

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.

Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”