Relationship jokes
Don't break girls' hearts. Break their legs instead. They're two.
"Go frick a cow!"
"I already fricked your mother."
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
Memes
Mans Down Bad
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't know their daddy.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
I tried to have phone sex once.
But the holes were too small.
Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.
Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.
She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.
Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?
Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.
Why do orphans like to have sex?
So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."
Are you adopted?
No.
I mean, who would want you?
Daddy, harder!
What's the difference between a boomerang and your dad?
Boomerangs come back.
What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?
I want them both in my mouth!
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!