Relationship jokes

Your forehead is so big your soulmate didn't even want you.

How did the blind girl get a date?

She said it was love at first sight.

Fruit is like ex-wives.

They both look really good hanging from a tree.

How can you tell when your sister is on her period?

Your dad's knob tastes funny.

My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.

One time in camp, I kissed my bunkmate Bret in the shower. He cupped my breasts and lathered them in Prell, but I'm totally not gay... :)

What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”

While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋

Have you ever said no? Did they keep going?

My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.

It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!

Your mom gay.

I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."

How does she know I have that?

You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.

Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?

Because they just keep getting harder and harder!

Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!

Your mama's like a cardboard box: open to the public and easy to nail.

You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.

My dad came out of my step-sister's room as I came out of my step-mum's room.

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.

Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.