Relationship jokes
Yo mama's such a milf, she deserves a tongue punch in the fart box.
Hi, you guys don't know me, but I have my best interests at heart.
I'm a kind person who wants to put a stop to the bullying. I think that Gwen, Addison Banks, Watersharky, ect. are kind people! Also, I kinda like Watersharky...
You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?
Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?
You: Uhhhhhhh
Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.
You: Thank God.
Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...
You: *faints*
My girlfriend said she's having a horrible time with her period. I ask her which one, but realize she's not talking about school...
We don't see each other very much.
I’ll never forget the first time we met, but I’ll keep trying.
How emos propose: Would you please join my family tree?
Lady: Will you fuck me?
Man: No, I don’t have a penis.
Lady pulls down man's pants and looks in them. "Yes, you do!" she says.
Man: Oh, I forgot it was there.
You're mum.
I’ll never forget my grandpa's last words to me...
“Are you still holding the ladder??”
What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”
Reply back with “Because you were born.”
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.
YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing you haven't told her twice already.
Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.
You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.
Fruit is like ex-wives.
They both look really good hanging from a tree.
Have you ever said no? Did they keep going?
One time in camp, I kissed my bunkmate Bret in the shower. He cupped my breasts and lathered them in Prell, but I'm totally not gay... :)