Relationship jokes

My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."

You're mum.

I’ll never forget my grandpa's last words to me...

“Are you still holding the ladder??”

Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.

Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!

Wife: Kid?

Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?

Why couldn't Sally get back up? Because she has no friends.

If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.

YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.

The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.

Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing you haven't told her twice already.

When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.

What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”

How did the blind girl get a date?

She said it was love at first sight.

Fruit is like ex-wives.

They both look really good hanging from a tree.

You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.

Your forehead is so big your soulmate didn't even want you.

One time in camp, I kissed my bunkmate Bret in the shower. He cupped my breasts and lathered them in Prell, but I'm totally not gay... :)

How can you tell when your sister is on her period?

Your dad's knob tastes funny.

My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.

Have you ever said no? Did they keep going?