Relationship jokes

Zion is so fat that his dick can't even fit in his wife's pussy.

Girl: I like girls.

Dad: Ok?

Girl 2: I like girls too.

Dad: Okay, so who likes boys?!

Boy: I do.

Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"

Hi, you guys don't know me, but I have my best interests at heart.

I'm a kind person who wants to put a stop to the bullying. I think that Gwen, Addison Banks, Watersharky, ect. are kind people! Also, I kinda like Watersharky...

Lady: Will you fuck me?

Man: No, I don’t have a penis.

Lady pulls down man's pants and looks in them. "Yes, you do!" she says.

Man: Oh, I forgot it was there.

Why did the man cross the road?

Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!

Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?

Friend: Sure.

Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.

Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?

Me: Aren't you my son?

Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.

What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”

Reply back with “Because you were born.”

My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."

I’ll never forget my grandpa's last words to me...

“Are you still holding the ladder??”

You're mum.

You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.

Why couldn't Sally get back up? Because she has no friends.

If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.

The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.

Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.

YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.

When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing you haven't told her twice already.

You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.