Relationship jokes
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more.
More about Quinn: He loves Robin. He loves his tight ass. He licks up all his shit after Taco Bell.
I broke up with my ex girlfriend. Here's her number.
Sike, that's the wrong number!
ooooooooooooooooooooo
How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
When he figures out your 12:
What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?
You only see one asshole in 69.
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.
Your mom is so fat that she broke your crush!
A married couple are on holiday in Italia. They look at the Leaning Tower of Pisa. He says: - Look, honey, this tower is crookedly standing! She: - Shut up!
(Standing means: penis erection)
What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both never get erect.
People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.
She can't see the obvious.
A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asked what that was for.
"It is for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"
My friend is gay lol. I'm a spagetie fucc, lemme smash, Becky!
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
My dad raped my mom, now I have a brother.
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.