Relationship jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.

Knock knock.

You: Who's there?

Your new father!

Yo mama so fat, she took both sides of the family.

Are you adopted?

No.

I mean, who would want you?

Daddy, harder!

Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?

What's the difference between a boomerang and your dad?

Boomerangs come back.

Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.

Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?

The only food I want to review is my wife's rear end.

Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?

They actually can call someone "daddy!"

Kiwi loves Brad.

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.

Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!

What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?

I want them both in my mouth!

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

What is an orphan's family photo?

A selfie.

You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.

I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"

She said, "Yes."

"Knock knock."

I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"

Oh, you're jealous now.

Why was the people's wedding so miserable...

'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.

61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69... mouthwash.