Relationship jokes

His name is "Daddy!" HELP!

Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.

Why can't an orphan go to a family reunion?

It has no family.

My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.

What’s the bravest thing a man can do?

Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

My girlfriend's name is Candice.

Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D

What did mum say when grandpa called?

Boomerang.

Why do orphans like fucking other dads?

Because they get to have a daddy.

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

"Yol, what do you think about sex?"

"Good."

I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.

What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.

My brother: What are you looking at?

Me: A mistake.