My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
Wife: I think these pants are getting too small for me!
Husband: Don't worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.
He said he didn't want to be my brother anymore.
He's now my sister.
My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
Why was the kid sad?
He was adopted.
My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."
Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.
Orphan: I don’t have parents.
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."
Chat date for Kenya and Jaden!
"-JuicyFruitSnacks- A whole lot of pepper and a whole lot of salt. If I blame it on my friends, it won't be my fault."
-Mully- This is my mom left!!
What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."
The other man says, "How do you know?"
The other man says, "Because she is dead."
Dear Kenya, love of life,
Thanks for commenting on my jokes, and thanks for being a nice person to me! Love, Jaden. You can tell by the emojis 🥰😍❤️💞!
Love you a million times more!
How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.
Prince, do you love that girl Gwen more than me? Remember when you were at my house?
Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?
Because it got pissed off!
Penis ➕ ➕ ➕ 🕳
inside 🚹 🚹 restroom
equals 😋 🍌 🍌 🍌 inside
glory 🕳
Welcome to the Friend Zone! It’s lonely here.
"Gwen, I want my boyfriend back!"
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.
The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"
My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."
