Relationship jokes
My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You look like Shrek, And you make me peck.
My friend jokingly confessed to me she did prostitution (consensual).
She wasn't joking. :0
We are 15....
Q: What do you call a virgin from Alabama?
A: An orphan.
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
Are your forehead and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back?
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought you can mix too.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
Your hairline [is] so bad even your mama left you.
My brother: What are you looking at?
Me: A mistake.
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
Hi, are you even my sister?
Yes, I am.
No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"
That's a horrible thing to find out when you're adopted.
This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.
Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.
Are you a noose, 'cause I wanna hang out with you?
Chump obviously wants to divorce Melania and marry Pootin, lmfao.