Relationship jokes
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
To Mr. Nice Guy, you are nice, sweet, and caring! I am so grateful to be your friend!
I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.
The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"
My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
Memes
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.
I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.
Let me know if you can't cum.
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
What's one plus one?
Yo mama.
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
My Dad: Son, history always repeats itself.
Me: So you're gonna leave me again?
I don't blame Amber Heard for wanting Elon Musk, especially if Johnny Depp is hairy and smells like a port-o-potty full of cigarettes and gunsmoke.
Why do orphans not like jokes?
Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!
My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?
Ask an orphan.