Relationship jokes
One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.
I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!
What did the toaster say to the piece of bread? "I want you inside me."
Your hairline goes so far back it left before your dad did.
I am gay, is that ok?
I be on top sucking dick all day. I make him bust every day.
"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
Your mama is so ugly, her shadow got a restraining order.
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!
What's one plus one?
Yo mama.
My Dad: Son, history always repeats itself.
Me: So you're gonna leave me again?
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dad!
Dad who?
Silence.
A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?
The husband answers her: Pretty.
The wife responds: Thank yo-
The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!
Becky: Rob, you're so stupid! Anything that you say is stupid!
Rob: .....BECKY :3