Relationship jokes

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?

Me: Look at the stars in the sky.

Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?

Me: No, it’s a waste of time.

Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.

Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.

I love my mom.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.

Why can't orphans have gay sex?

They have no one to call "daddy."

So an orphan played for a football team, and the coach said, "Your parents must be proud of you!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

What would a gay man do for free that a heterosexual woman that is a whore won't do for $50.00 for a heterosexual man?

Suck his balls.

What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.

What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?

They both never get erect.

Your hairline goes so far back it left before your dad did.

I am gay, is that ok?

I be on top sucking dick all day. I make him bust every day.

The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)

What did the toaster say to the piece of bread? "I want you inside me."

Why can't orphans have sex?

They have nobody to call "daddy."

Why can't orphans be gay?

They have nobody to call "daddy."

Congratulations! 10 years+ record of hide and seek with your parents, and they're still hiding!

They hide so well, they probably forgot about you. Mwah. <3

How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.

My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.

People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!

1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.