Relationship jokes

Why does Sally hate herself? Because Sophie stole her boy.

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.

My wife said she wanted to leave me. She said it’s because of the abuse, but really, she’s the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got poisoning the next day. This shows almost half of the woman’s population is weak both physically and mentally.

Jack fucked Jill's pussy till it stopped functioning.

Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.

Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?

All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.

Riley....I...I think I wanna be more than friends.

Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.

Bros over hos.

I found your parent!

Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.

The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.

What can you build with people? A boat!

At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.

My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."

Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

My dad and I were fishing one day.

That’s where he met my stepmom.

You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.

Dishwasher rape is another word for marital obligations.