Relationship jokes
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?
I haven’t banged a hooker.
I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.
What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.
America and UK are a joke.
If an orphan got hit, will they go tell their parents?
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dad!
Dad who?
Silence.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
My sexlife xddddddddd
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.
It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.
But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?
Little Johnny meets Big Suzy.
Little Johnny and Big Suzy got together.
Little Johnny still regrets getting together with her to this very day.
The end.
When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?
Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
Why can't orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because they're family size.