Relationship jokes
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to start to build the still for Jill.
Jack stopped and said to drunkin' Jill, "To build this still will take so long."
Jill said to Jack, "Well, f--k the still and kiss my ass, and watch me take another pill!"
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
I fucked your mom.
Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because he was feeling bonely.
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."
"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?
"Goodnight, Mom!"
This is not a joke. Stop online dating.
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
Becky: Rob, you're so stupid! Anything that you say is stupid!
Rob: .....BECKY :3
What did the Joker say to Harley Quinn?
Nothing.
Who's the smallest wife??
Micro-wife.