Relationship jokes

Hi, are you even my sister?

Yes, I am.

No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.

Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"

That's a horrible thing to find out when you're adopted.

This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.

Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.

Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought you can mix too.

Are you a noose, 'cause I wanna hang out with you?

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family portrait.

Why did you and Sarah break up?

'Cause she cheetahed on me.

Why can't orphans be gay?

They have nobody to call "daddy."

I bet your hairline goes inside your private part, and your girlfriend can’t even touch it.

Your butt is bigger than my ex-girlfriend's butt, and I love it!

Are your forehead and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back?

She’s got 20 dudes in her DMs telling her she is pretty. Stand out, call her ugly.

"You’re the milk to my cookies."

Fatherless jokes.

My brother: What are you looking at?

Me: A mistake.

What do you call sex with a hoover?

Clean sex.

Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.

How do I make my dick disappear?

I put it in your dad.

My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."