Relationship jokes
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."
Leo is like a cloud... when she disappears, it's a beautiful day.
Slade must be WiFi... because I’m not feeling a CONNECTION.
Brings a whole new meaning to brotherly love.
A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.
His wife was up waiting for him.
"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.
He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."
Your mama's like a cardboard box: open to the public and easy to nail.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.
If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?
They both be fucking sugar daddies.
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.