Relationship jokes
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
Your mama's like a cardboard box: open to the public and easy to nail.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"
Brings a whole new meaning to brotherly love.
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”
The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”
What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?
They both be fucking sugar daddies.
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:
Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.
Bros over hos.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.
I asked my sister to say something.
She said, "No."
That's what I like to hear.