Relationship jokes
I have 25 friends from the alphabet, but don't ask me why.
Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.
A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"
Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"
The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
Memes
There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"
Why can't an orphan go to a family reunion?
It has no family.
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
Gina: Ha! YOU HAVE NOTHING!
Orphan: Yes I do.
Gina: What do you have then?
Orphan: Parents.
Gina: LIAR!
Having sex with three people is a threesome.
Having sex with four people is a foursome.
Then maybe I am handsome after all...
Kaleb: Addison, are you okay???
Addison: Not at all. People think I'm annoying and stupid! Do you?
Kaleb: Yes, once I pound you in the ass.
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Are you a horse, because I want to ride you?
I fucked a wall.
My grandfather told me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.
Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?