Relationship

Relationship jokes

Wife

    • There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.

    Relationship memes

    Self Harm

    • I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

    When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

    I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."

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    • Marriage

    • A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.

    When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.

    The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.

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    • Wife

    • My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.

    Dad

    • What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.

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