Relationship jokes

Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?

Ask an orphan.

I could never date a midget.

We would never see eye to eye.

Yo mama so FAT...

That when she had sex with you...

Your balls turned to pancakes.

Why can't orphans have gay sex?

They have no one to call "daddy."

I love my mom.

If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.

What would a gay man do for free that a heterosexual woman that is a whore won't do for $50.00 for a heterosexual man?

Suck his balls.

Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?

Me: Look at the stars in the sky.

Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?

Me: No, it’s a waste of time.

Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.

Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.

What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.

My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."

My friend Harry.

So an orphan played for a football team, and the coach said, "Your parents must be proud of you!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?

"I don’t have a mama."

Your mom is hot.

A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.

Why is it better to date an orphan?

Their parents are never home.

Is your mom a virgin?

Mine is.

How am I alive?

You tell me.

Would you rather date me or a lady?

I laid deez nuts in your mouth.