So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
I'll really mist ya.
It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The silence.
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴
Trump pumped and dumped his wife at the border.
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
Want to do a titcock dance with me?
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
My mom loves balls.
But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.
It turns into ligma.
Brother: What's ligma?
Big Brother: Ligma dick!
What’s a 5 letter word that starts with a ‘P’ that girls love to get their hands on? 😏
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?
Because they never came home.
