Relationship jokes
What did a tree do for a human rights day at a tree?
I had no time today after a night with you today, but you walk away.
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.
Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:
"So you’re open 24 hours a day?"
I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.
The things you do for your cousins!
My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."
Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama?
Because they don’t have a sister.
My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.
One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.
I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!
What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both never get erect.
Like, and comment if you're single.
Your mama is so ugly, her shadow got a restraining order.
What’s the difference between 3 cocks and my sister?
My sister can’t take a joke about cocks in bed.
"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?
"Goodnight, Mom!"
This is not a joke. Stop online dating.