A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.
Relationship Jokes
I miss Gwen.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
What actor do orphans hate?
Dom Terreto (family).
Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”
She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.
One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"
Lady: Will you fuck me?
Man: No, I don’t have a penis.
Lady pulls down man's pants and looks in them. "Yes, you do!" she says.
Man: Oh, I forgot it was there.
What's the hardest part about sex with a Thai girl?
Her, probably.
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.
I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Your mom who?
O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!
So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.
